Bite the Fruit — Relationship Health

You’re at home on a work night. Your partner had a brutal day and needs to vent. “My boss was a jerk,” your partner says, “and I feel like none of my colleagues like me.”“I have an idea,” you respond. “Maybe you should organize a happy hour to clear the air.”“You’re not listening. My boss is just a jerk, plain and simple. I’ve tried being nice, and it’s impossible with her. Nobody in the office gets this kind of treatment.”“I hear you. I’m just trying to help. And if you organize that happy hour, you might—”“Stop trying to help me...

Having a fight? “You’re overreacting” will only make it worse. Couples’ counselors will witness their sessions devolve into an argument often as a result of a simple phrase. ‘I never said that,’ for example, ensures an hour-long (and perhaps into the drive home and the coming week), debate on what the person did or did not say. Here’s a quick list of phrases that couples should avoid saying, why we should avoid them, and what to say instead: Generalizations “You always …” and “You never …” These terms are often exaggerations, and they don’t acknowledge any effort the listening partner...

However, who’s practicing it? Everyone is talking about polyamory. Is it really popular? Or are people only saying it is? Perhaps a self-fulfilling prophecy might be at work: Polyamory becomes more widespread because we think it’s already widespread. Norms around sexuality change because we think they’ve changed — even if they haven’t. Nontraditional sexual relationships, of course, are as old as time itself. In the 1960s and ’70s, a generation of Americans became acquainted with “free love” only to settle into monogamous relationships when they got older. “Polyamory” entered the lexicon with 1997’s “The Ethical Slut,” a book now considered...

Tips to ensure a successful marriageWhile fairy tales and rom-coms often end with the couple living “happily ever after,” real life can be far from that once the proverbial honeymoon period is over. But there is hope for couples who are aiming to infuse a little more happiness into their relationship. The notion of a perfect, problem-free, and everlasting happiness in marriage is unrealistic. Every relationship faces challenges, conflicts, and ups and downs. The expectation of a perpetual state of bliss can lead to disappointment and frustration. A fulfilling marriage requires managing expectations, ongoing adaptation, and a lot of effort....

Tracking progress is a funny thing. We strive to improve in all areas of our life but it can be difficult to gauge. How do we know if we are moving in the right direction? When it comes to relationships, we are fed with fear-inducing messaging about what makes them fail rather than what makes them succeed. It’s crucial for couples to grow together, to become more comfortable, to build trust, to gain confidence. These would require us to know the signs of growth in a relationship. Measuring growth is an important practice in any healthy and fulfilling relationship. Even...