August 8 marks the annual observance of International Female Orgasm Day. First started in Brazil in 2006 as an unofficial holiday to encourage men to satisfy their wives, the event is now celebrated around the world. The occasion aims to raise awareness about women’s sexuality, encourages women to celebrate their bodies and their right to sexual pleasure.
In many cultures and societies, sex is considered a taboo topic, one that is talked about in hushed voices. Female Orgasm Day provides an opportunity for both women and men to learn more about women’s pleasure.
Dia do Orgasmo Feminino was first observed in a town called Esperantina in Brazil. Arimateo Dantas, a high-ranking city official dedicated a day to women’s orgasm as a means to compensate for the ‘sexual debt’ he owed to his wife. He arranged for conferences to promote women’s sexual health and right to sexual pleasure. Now the special day is an official holiday in Brazil, it has been enacted as law.
Since its establishment, Female Orgasm Day is now observed in other countries like Spain, Mexico, Argentina, Norway, and Peru.
Available statistics on sexual behavior reveal that just one-third of women experience orgasm. According to a study, about one in three women does not reach sexual climax during intercourse, while most women require clitoral stimulation to climax.
A woman’s mental well-being also plays an important role in helping her reach orgasm. If a woman’s mind is not there, it is likely to become increasingly difficult for her to orgasm.
A British study revealed that 58% of women regularly fake orgasms for multiple reasons, ranging from boredom and tiredness, to ending the sexual encounter and protecting their partner’s feelings.
(Editor’s Note: "Women" and "female" in this article refer to people with vaginas and clitorises while "men" and "male" refer to people with penises.)
What is the female orgasm?
The cherry on top of any sexual experience. Whether from masturbation, oral sex, intercourse, anal sex or other sexual stimulation, an orgasm is one of the reasons why we engage in sexual play. Whether you have one or many, we all crave that orgasmic release.
Orgasms are fun and they feel fantastic. But do you know that there are different types of female orgasms? Do you know that women can have an orgasm that lasts more than a few minutes? Do you know that men can have multiple orgasms? Did you know the G-spot orgasm is real?
Masters and Johnson defines orgasm as “the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual tension resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region that produce sensations followed by rapid relaxation. Orgasm is also in part a psychological experience of pleasure and abandon when the mind is focused solely on the personal experience."
Is an orgasm different for women than for men? The answer is yes and no. Orgasm is the same general occurrence for both males and females, with those involuntary contractions that produce pleasing sensations. However, for women, there are more variances in the methods of achieving orgasm. Women can sometimes achieve orgasm without touching their vaginal area or clitoris, whereas males are not likely to have an orgasm without penile stimulation.
For women, more than men, an orgasm is a whole-body experience and this requires a mind-body connection. Women need to feel connected, protected, safe, and yes, loved, in order to have seriously intense orgasms. This is a generalized rule, but it is true more often than not. There are thought to be six main steps to the female orgasm, and each step has its own purpose.
Step 1: Mental Arousal
A mind-body connection is a huge asset to arousal and orgasm. Women begin their mental arousal way before the physical arousal, oftentimes fantasizing about certain scenarios or specific sexual situations with a person whom they are attracted to.
Women are often not just attracted to a lover based on looks alone, but often also look for something outside of appearance to draw them in. Intellectual prowess can be one example of something that women find appealing, as well as the ability to provide monetarily. Mental arousal can also occur when her love interest is complimentary toward her, telling her she is beautiful for example. Any intimate connection will aid in arousal.
Step 2: Physical Arousal
Women often require a good amount of foreplay. Kissing, massaging, cuddling, fondling, breast play, fingering, oral sex; all of these activities aid in her actual arousal. The average amount of time a female requires to reach adequate arousal for comfortable intercourse (meaning, she is well lubricated and excited) is around 15 minutes of continuous foreplay.
The wonderful thing about the female anatomy is that there are often many more erogenous zones than on a male. Women, for example, can sometimes reach orgasm just through nipple stimulation alone. Others may respond to the kissing of the inner thighs. Every woman is different and responds to things individually, but generally a woman is much more likely to have an orgasm if she is properly warmed up, physically aroused.
Step 3: Direct Stimulation
Clitoral stimulation is required in 85% of women to reach orgasm. This means that they are unable to orgasm through penetration alone. The clitoris is the primary source of female pleasure. It has 8,000 nerve endings which is twice as many as the head of a penis in a super small space.
When the clitoris is stimulated through touch, it engorges with blood (just like the penis does when a man becomes aroused) and then it becomes more sensitive to touch. Continued stimulation will result in pleasurable feelings and, eventually, orgasm.
Step 4: Pre-Orgasm
Once the body is aware that there is mental and physical arousal through direct stimulation, it begins to prepare itself for a possible orgasm. Blood will rush to the nether regions, clitoris, vaginal lips, clitoral hood, and bottom areas of the female anatomy. Breathing becomes shallow, heart rate speeds up, nipples harden, clitoris grows, chest and face may become flushed, pupils dilate, and a sort of involuntary pelvic grinding occurs.
Directly before orgasm, there may be a noticeable flexing or pulsing of the vaginal/anal muscles which will continue through orgasm. There will be a noticeable increase in bodily lubrication and the body becomes alive with sensations like little shock waves excitement.
Step 5: The Orgasm
The Clitoral Orgasm
This is the most common type of female orgasm and occurs when the clitoris is properly stimulated. Once stimulation occurs, blood flows and engorges the clitoris and the sensations get more and more intense. Her body will likely feel warm and tingly as blood flows and the pleasure hormone, oxytocin, begins rushing through her. These feelings will reach their peak and she will experience very rapid and involuntary contractions of her pelvic and anal muscles. Natural lubrication will increase but this is not ejaculation. This contraction serves a purpose in procreation and helps the sperm reach the egg, which is why doctors and experts suggest trying to have an orgasm when trying to conceive. These feelings can last from a few seconds to more than a minute for some women.
The Internal Orgasm
Some women are able to achieve orgasm through internal stimulation, usually in combination with clitoral stimulation, but sometimes even without. This orgasm is different in sensation from a clitoral orgasm, but the process leading up to orgasm are the same. Women who experience internal orgasms report that the intensity of the orgasm is a little less, but largely the orgasmic sensations are the same.
The G-Spot Orgasm
A G-Spot orgasm is without a doubt the most intense orgasm a woman can have. Most women don’t experience a G-Spot orgasm because achieving this elusive orgasm is wrought with pleasure that many women find too intense, so they give up before the crescendo. When the G-Spot (located approximately one to three inches inside the vaginal canal on the upper side) is stimulated appropriately and for the proper length of time, an extremely intense, full-body orgasm can occur. This orgasm may even be accompanied by female-ejaculation, squirting, which can be anywhere from a few drops to literally a fountain-like ejaculation.
Women who experience G-Spot orgasms describe them as fully draining, super intense, body-shaking, even painful, and the best orgasm of their lives. The road to this sort of orgasm is slightly different in that while the pleasing feelings and sensations are the same, they are more intense. Then, right before orgasm, there is a very urgent feeling that you need to urinate. This is normal, and most women stop here for fear of peeing on themselves, but if they allow themselves further stimulation, they will have the orgasm. If continued stimulation occurs, she likely will be able to have further orgasms as well until she simply cannot orgasm anymore.
The Blended Orgasm
The glory of having a female body is the possibility of having different types of orgasms. Women typically have three main types of orgasm: clitoral, internal and, G-spot. Some women can also have anal orgasms or nipple orgasms. More common, though, are the women who have a super intense orgasm through a mixture of clitoral, internal and G-spot. These are called blended orgasms.
Typically, a blended orgasm is achieved when clitoral stimulation, inner vaginal or G-spot stimulation are combined. Simultaneous external and internal stimulation brings the arousal to a higher level. For most women, concurrently stimulating the clitoris with a toy while having internal stimulation through intercourse makes the orgasm much more intense.
Often during masturbation, a woman will not add in internal stimulation and will concentrate solely on her clitoris. While this is pleasurable, and will most likely result in orgasm, adding in the internal stimulation will often bring the orgasm much more quickly than with clitoral stimulation alone. This is a proven technique in achieving an orgasm for women who may may experience difficulty.
Step 6: The Refractory Period
The time after orgasm when a person cannot be sexually stimulated due to intense sensations. For men, this period is much different and can last much longer. In females the refractory period can be nearly non-existent, meaning she can move right into the build-up of her next orgasm immediately.
During the refractory period, the female's clitoris is so sensitive that she likely cannot endure much stimulation. Often, this is why women only have one orgasm, when truly they could be having multiples or consecutive orgasms. When you can push past those uncomfortable sensations to continue stimulating, your body will build back up toward the next orgasm, and often they will come closer together and be more intense with each one.
Women who have G-Spot orgasms are often the ones who can push past their discomfort in the refractory period.
(Next month: How to give yourself an orgasm)