BTF answers your questions: How do I 'loosen up' for my boyfriend?

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Question from a real customer:

I need advice on what items to get. I am 40 yo gay guy who has lived in closet and slowly coming out. I have a boyfriend who I had a great sexual relationship with years ago and we have fallen back in love and he is moving back to the area so we can be together but I need to get ready for him. I am total bottom and he is total top but I haven’t been fucked in the ass in years. What should I get to prepare my ass, are there belts that hold a dildo in place that I could wear to loosen me up? Also interested in items to have fun with my man when he gets here in January. I have never been to a sex shop and am clueless on what to get.

Wonderful news! So happy for you and your boyfriend.

The first suggestion we have is to come by the store. There are many things that we can recommend but it would be so much better to discuss these things in person.


If you’re not able to stop by, here are a few things you might consider:

Butt Plug - These are intended to help loosen you up. Begin small. As you relax, you can use a larger size. We sell butt plug kits with three sizes included.

Water-Based Lube - It is easier to clean after play. It won’t stain fabric. It is better for silicone butt plugs and toys. Silicone lube could deteriorate the surface of silicone toys.

Douche - You probably want to keep it clean and ready. There are many types of douches and enemas. We recommend the bulb type with a very thin nozzle douche.

Essentially, after relieving yourself, fill the bulb with warm water. Stay near the toilet. Lay on your side, insert the nozzle, squeeze the bulb. Hold the water in as long as you can. Then release the water in the toilet. Repeat a few times, until the water is clear.

There are more elaborate douche systems. There is one that attaches to your shower head. But we appreciate the simplicity of and economically reasonable bulb douche.

With regard to other toys and fun items, this would depend on what you and your partner are into. We can go more towards bondage and spanking, or massage and sensual, or something in between. The most important question to answer is ‘What do you want?’ Be guided by what turns you on.

We have just about every fetish toy available. The website is a good place to start but keep in mind that our site only has a fraction of what we have in the store.

These should get you started. Let us know if you have questions.


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